Feb 6, 2007

Cyclops Lawn Mowing Company

You buy a cheap lawn mower and go around a random neighborhood asking if anyone needs their grass cut.
When you find your first customer, convince him to watch you from his porch, telling him how proud you are of the work you do.
You begin to work and every now and then wave to your happy customer.
After about 10 minutes- you then turn your back to him so he cant see what you are doing and slip on a Cyclops mask.
Then turn back to him and wave- this will confuse the hell out of your customer-
This is when you run the lawnmower towards him and his house and launch it through a window

He will be so freaked out you will easily be able to casually get into your car and drive away
Make sure you have on your car a peel-away sticker that says "CYCLOPS LAWN MOWING CO."

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At 5:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love a cyclops who wants to attack an innocent old man

magnificent work dale jr

At 9:06 PM, Anonymous BURRITO BANDIT said...

hey dale
how bout after the cyclops smashes the mower thru the window he gouges out the old mans eye-- like that could be his calling card

At 2:55 PM, Blogger Pudding Pie said...

You could also have a Cyclops Snow Plowing Co. for the winter. He could gingerly smash the crap out of peoples garages. And skid away in a snow plow, with a sled attatched to the back carrying little chuckie dolls dressed in Santa gear.

At 12:45 PM, Anonymous Thomas Retchen III said...

when you launch the lawnmower is it possible for it to stay on and maybe attack his elderly wife who is sitting on the couch reading TV digest?

maybe you could even paint evil eyes on the mower so when the cops come they think its possesed?
just a thought.. love the visions, dale. keep it up. keep it up!!

At 6:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my dad owns a lawn mowing company- this will be a great way for me to get out of work this summer when he makes me work!!

At 12:24 PM, Anonymous Norman Kakos said...

how about you aim the lawn mower at the old man- maybe slicing one of his legs off- but then have the cyclops lean over the screaming man- and whisper its ok- im a doctor- then have the cyclops perform an appendectomy - but not use sterile technique- but that is like his calling card- and he collects peoples appendixes- and wears them like a necklace

At 9:27 PM, Anonymous Gregory R. Vustos Jr. said...


the comments people make are more fucked up than DALES VISIONS!



At 12:01 PM, Anonymous The Patriotic Squid said...

Run for the border? No, my friend. You have it all wrong. This is the type of passion we need from Americans. Even if the passion is about vandalizing an elderly defenseless mans home- at least its still passion. I praise Dale and his followers. I praise them for believing in an idea and attacking with fury. VIVA DALE! VIVA AMERICA!!

At 10:41 PM, Anonymous Andrew said...

i am insulted by this
i own a lawn mowing company and find this to be racist


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