Aug 24, 2008

Road Kill Fun


Find the largest road kill
It does not matter if its a chipmunk or racoon. The larger the animal the better.

Put a cute little headband on the dead animal. Staple the pole of an American flag in the palm of his hand. Place the cute little critter on a park bench in a popular park. Prop it up so it looks like its sitting. Set up a tiny radio and have the song "Pump up the Jam" play, on repeat.

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May 18, 2008

Dog Parade Goes Awry, 100s hurt


It is a beautiful Sunday in May and the city you live in is holding a dog parade. (yes, A DOG PARADE!)
Literally, 100s of dogs and their owners march as if they are important down the center of your town and it appears that everyone is having a joyous time.
Your friend has a view of the parade from his apartment window- so you grab a megaphone and a dog whistle and decide to have some fun. Blowing your whistle into the megaphone, magnifies the high pitched frequency only heard by dogs. The chaotic response plays out like a beautiful ballet.
The dogs running rampant, startled by the piercing noise, will lose all control. The attempt by some owners to calm their dog down will be futile. The elderly and weak owners will be at their dogs mercy as some are dragged through the street and others attacked.
After a good 10 minutes of whistle blowing-in your gayest voice say into the megaphone,"That's a good, good doggie!"
This will give all those festive dog lovers a good scare and teach them a lesson about the definition of a parade.

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Apr 13, 2008

Have a Blessed Day

You see an old man at sitting on bench reading the newspaper

wait til hes got it in a perfect position - and slam the paper- so that his head pops a hole right through the middle.

Then spin the paper around his neck while he is still stunned.

Look at him and say "Have a blessed day"

His confusion as to why that has happened will be pushed to the limits- especially after you give him the blessed day line.

Apr 7, 2008

Ive Got The Power


You hire a 3 man dance group and once again a trained martial arts expert to attend the funeral of a popular elderly man. Right as the service is about to begin- you cue up your boom box to play- at full blast the 1990 rap classic by Snap, "Ive Got the Power!"

Have your group race to the front and in front of the casket perform a hardcore rehearsed routine with the karate expert in front -on gaurd- making sure nobody interrupts.
The grand finale of the routine is one of the members jumps onto the casket and does a backflip off of it-doing the splits and touching his feet in the air
Then the 2 other dancers open the casket and pull out the deceased-
Quickly propping him up, but have one of his arms held up high like he is pumping his fist- holding that pose...

Have the lights shut off at the end of the song and take off - leave the old man tho (that would be mean)

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Apr 6, 2008

BACHI BACHI! LOOK OUT!!


You find out through a friend that there is a very large indian wedding scheduled this saturday. The family is very traditional so the surprise you have in store will have an even better reaction. You hire 20 dancers and dress them in random costumes, most of the costumes are gorilla suits, however anything will do.

Right before the bride is about to make her entrance.. cue your dance troupe to storm the room.. dancing and parading down the isle- with your leading man in the gorilla suit charging the groom. Tell him if he can tackle the groom there is an extra hundred bucks goin his way.
Oh, also put these payday bonuses out there..
If anyone just wears a mask and nothing else= $500.
Tackling a guest earns $25- an extra $25 if the guest is over the age of 60.
Snatching bras are worth 50
Snatching a toupe is worth 200

Chaos will surely ensue - im sure there will be a few indian guests who will not be able to control their anger and react violently towards the dancers. This is why you also have one trained martial arts fighter joining your troupe as well. Hopefully this one bad ass, will be able to take out at least 20-25 ornery guests. Make sure you get this on video- because this- my friends, is BEYOND PRICELESS FOOTAGE


Can you imagine the anger and thick indian accents screaming at the dancers dressed as gorillas..

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Mar 27, 2008

Oh HELL NO!



You walk into a fancy retail store off the street.
As you browse around, you politely smile at the store owners when they ask you if you need any help.

You then casually walk up to one of the dressed manequins they have and stare at it.

Then - while looking at the manequin, scream "Oh, HELL NO!"

Grab the mannequin and launch it as hard as you can at the window- smashing it onto the sidewalk.
Glance at the other mannequins in the store and mutter "Lets not make this personal."
Then take a hat off one, walk up to the counter and politely say,

"I think this is going to be all for today."

Jan 25, 2008

I cant believe we really won a free computer!!



A nice elderly couple just moved into the neighborhood. Send them a fake letter saying they have been randomly chosen as winners to a new computer! In the letter state that the computer will be delivered within a week! They will think its too good to be true and probably be a bit skeptical.

Draw a sad face on a balloon place it in a large computer box. Also dump a pile of dog shit in the box. Seal the box up tight and place it on the porch of your new neighbors. Place a letter on the box stating congratulations- but on the back of the letter in small print write Congratulations Shitheads!

The new neighbors will not understand why someone would do this to then. But at least you can get a good laugh out of it.

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Sep 17, 2007

Boring Conference


You are at some medical conference.
Some dork is giving an hour lecture on something absolutely, ridiculously, painfully boring.
Have one of your friends pose as a blind man and walk into the lecture hall with his rottweiler "guide dog."

Have him position himself at the side of the stage so the crowd cannot see him.


Wait til its about half way over and have your friend throw a juicy steak right at the speakers head and at the same time let go of the rottweiler's leash.


The rottweiler will obviously trample the speaker as he goes for the steak and give a new meaning to the term stage fright, forever.

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Aug 27, 2007

Help Me! Im Drowning!



Buy a doll and tape recorder- Ask a young girl to say into the tape recorder- "Help me! Im drowning" Over and over again. Go to the bathroom of an office building and place the doll in the toilet. Go into the next stall and wait patiently til someone comes in. Then push play on the recorder. Leave the recorder on and walk out of your stall and ask the guy - where the hell you think that sound is coming from. Once he opens the stall door and sees the doll in the toilet- Begin to freak out and ask him if he knows CPR. Run out and tell him you are going to get help.
Have some of your friends run in a minute later and ask the guy who needs CPR. When the guy tries to explain the story- have your friends beat the shit out of him for thinking a doll needs CPR. This man will never know what hit him.

Aug 20, 2007

Good Luck on the Interview


Late one night, smash one of your friends car window and place in the front seat a well dressed mannequin with a note on his lap that reads

"Good Luck on the Interview."

Your friend will be so confused, mainly because he does not even have an interview. Express how weird you think this whole thing is and tell him to call the cops.

Do it again a month later.
He will not know why this is happening and his confusion will be something you can laugh at for a long time.

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Aug 17, 2007

PUBLISHERS CLEARING HOUSE LOSERS


Find a nice elderly couple and show up at their house with a whole crew of people holding a fake large Publishers Clearing House check, bring with you a camera man, a nice lady holding balloons and have a friend dress up as a Native American indian holding balloons as well.

When you knock on the door- the couple will be so excited - they will hopefully just view the indian as part of the craziness and excitement. When you enter the house, interview them like a reporter would - have your indian friend casually pour gasoline on their couch. Towards the end of the interview - look at the camera and congraulate them- but call them the wrong name. Say the wrong name again- until they correct you. At this moment have the indian drop a match on the couch and start to chant for no apparent reason.

Turn towards your crew and announce to everyone

"Oopsie guys I think we want the house next door"
Make that oopsie daisy face to the elderly couple and walk out.

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Aug 11, 2007

King Salmon


Apply for a job at a seafood restaurant. Be very charming and the best waiter you can be until someone orders the salmon. Give them a dirty look when they order the salmon but then smile and walk back to the kitchen. The person who ordered the salmon will probably be a bit confused but think he is just over-reacting to your distaste for him ordering salmon. Go to your car where you have a large salmon fish in the trunk - walk it casually back into the restaurant on a plate. Slap the guy in the face with the salmon. Follow this by leaving a business card on his table and then take a bow and walk out. The restaurant will be startled and shocked when they see your business card which reads

King Salmon

Do not mess with the mother fuckin salmon king, BITCH

Aug 5, 2007

Clown Fisherman


You are boating on a popular lake with some friends. You come across a nice man who is fishing by himself. Slowly drive your boat towards his and politely ask him if he has extra bait. Board his boat and chloroform him. Strip him and then dress him up in only a speedo. Paint his face so he looks like a sad clown. Handcuff him to the steering wheel and drop his anchor so he does not drift. For the rest of the day - anyone that comes near him will not take the cries for help from the old clown in a speedo seriously. Everyone will laugh - except for the clown.

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Jul 24, 2007

Sorry But We Ran Out of Room


Go to a cemetery and find the tombstone of an old man who died within the last year. Look up the address of the old man's closest relatives. Buy a bunch of medical anatomy bones. Then drop the skull and bones on the porch of the closest relative.

Write on a sticky note-

"Ran out of room at the cemetery- Didnt think Gramps would mind."

Stick the note to the door.

The anger and outrage of the family member who finds what they think is Gramps old bones will be hysterical.

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Jun 15, 2007

Kenny Loves Mashed Potatoes

Go into a diner with 8 of your friends- but make sure all of you are wearing matching baseball jerseys. When you sit down tell the waitress even though you have never been into this diner or seen here- that you want your usual post-softball game victory meal. When she looks at you all confused- tell her in a shocked and sarcastic voice- "8 orders of mashed potatoes and gravy!"

When she brings your order out- have everyone pile their mashed potatoes one of your friends plates. When the waitress comes back to see how things are going- tell her "Kenny loves mashed potatoes!" She will most likely give you a confused look- this is when you have your friend with all the mashed potatoes scoop them up with hand and throw it at the closest window.

Then look at her and say "Kenny's wife has herpes." Get up and walk out.

Jun 12, 2007

AYYY - DIS IS NO GOOSE


Early Sunday morning- chloroform an Asian couple. Dress them up in a KKK robe and hood. Drive to a gospel church that is in the middle of dancing and singing. Have one of your friends waiting there with 2 horses. Place them on the horses, wake up the sleeping Asians and then give the horses a good branding towards the entrance- So they smash through the doors

Oh man- these Asians are about to make some people very ornery...

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Apr 22, 2007

The British are Coming.

You and your friend go to a nice park in Washington, DC. Bring a map of the city, 2 rolls of duct tape and a flag of Great Britian. Wait for a nice man walking alone to stroll by. Approach him holding the map but hiding your rolls of duct tape. Ask the man politiely if he knows what direction Big Ben is- When he looks at you all confused -quickly circle him and wrap him in the duct tape nice and tight- Then go grab your flag and duct tape it to his head. Whisper in his hear "The British are coming." Then take off.

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Apr 18, 2007

Push It Real Good


Go to the movies with 3 of your friends. Have one of your friends bring a small CD player- Buy 5 large buckets of popcorn. Sit behind a nice couple. Wait til the movie is about half way over and dump all of your popcorn on the floor quietly. Run to the bathroom with one of your friends and fill 2 of the buckets up with water. Walk back casually. Then place the 3 empty buckets on your heads but punch in 2 holes so you can see. Then slam the 2 full buckets of water on the heads of the couple in front of you. Have 2 of your friends stand next to you with their arms folded - have your other friend cue up the song "Push It" by Salt and Peppa. Synchronize a few pelvic thrusts to the beat - and walk out single file. This guy and his girlfriend will not know how to explain to this to anyone.

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Apr 10, 2007

Oh hell no- you got to be kidding me!


Go to a restaurant and find the meanest strongest looking guy. Walk up to him and introduce yourself asking him his name - Then call the hostess describing the man perfectly- tell her you cannot get a hold of a man who should be eating at the restaurant and how you have horrible news that his mother was in an accident and is at the local hospital. Beg the hostess to relay the message. Wait and watch her tell the man the awful news.
One minute later call the hostess up again and tell her that there was a terrible mistake and that the person in the accident was not his mother - it was just a pile of dog shit that had been run over. Tell her to relay the message and hang up.

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Apr 9, 2007

Thats a Bad Bad Baby


Go to a local coffee shop with a baby carriage- inside the carriage have a baby doll that is tied to a brick. Cover the baby in blankets - get a cup of coffee and start talkin to the fake baby- Tell the baby what a good good baby it is and how much you love him. Then spill a little coffee on your leg and scream. Then out of anger scream "Thats a bad bad baby!"- and launch the baby tied to the brick through the window- People will freak out that you have just thrown your own baby through the window-
Turn to the guy next to you and say "I hate it when they make the coffee too hot." Casually walk out.

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Apr 5, 2007

Sisters of the Night


One night when your buddy is drunk steal his house keys- A month later so he is not suspicious- find 15 people to dress up as nuns -tell them you are filming a scary movie scene - and all you need them to do is to stand around a sleeping mans bed while holding candles. Warn the acting nuns - the man in the bed has been known to ad lib and not to be alarmed if he begins to scream. Lead them into his house- Play scary opera music in the background. Film this, because if your buddy freaks out it will be funny- but it will be even better video footage if he loses it and starts knocking out the nuns. After this whole mess is cleared up- a year later hire a guy dressed up as a nun to stand in his shower - try and get this on film as well.

Mar 30, 2007

Piano Mummy

You find a nice local piano teacher who is giving lessons- Tell her your son would love lessons - but caution her to please be understanding of his appearance and how he was badly burned in a fire. Tell her you will be there recording this precious moment. Wrap one of your shorter friends up like a mummy. Also make sure you put on a disguise. Then go out and buy as much octopuss as you can and load up his backpack with it. Tell your friend after a few attempts at the piano- to open up the backpack and just start launching the octopuss all over the house. While he is doing this scream out, "No Jimmy! No! Throwing octopuss is not nice." When he is out of octopuss have him take the piano bench and launch it through the window. The have him dive through the window and run out. As he does this scream out, "Oh no! Not again." Calmy say to her, "He does this to every piano teacher -im terribly sorry." Then walk out. Her explanation to the police and friends will be mind boggling.

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Mar 27, 2007

Drumstick Gang


Go to a fancy restaurant with 5 of your friends. Bring duct tape but hide it. Have everyone wear a handle bar moustache. Have everyone order chicken but make sure its on the bone and comes with a drumstick. When the food comes- have everyone grab a drumstick and head to the bathroom. Wait until its just the 5 of you and one random guy. When he starts to pee- attack him with your drumsticks. After you have delivered a good beating- yank his pants down and place one drumstick in his crack (but prop it so its standing straight up)- then place the other drumsticks around his head and duct tape them so they stay. Also wrap the duct tape over his eyes. Place a card on the table that says "DRUMSTICK GANG AGAINST CANCER"- That way nobody can really get that mad at you. If he runs out of the bathroom - peoples reaction would be priceless- but even if he doesnt- this will still haunt him forever.

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Mar 25, 2007

SKI BUDDY

Go to your local ski resort- dress up a manequin in full ski gear- cover up his face with a ski mask so he looks as real as possible. But also douse his jacket in gasoline- Put skis on him and with another friend act as if you are escorting him to the chair lift-
Get in line with everyone- and turn to the people behind you and tell them how its your buddys first time skiing- and how you have a good joke planned for him.
They will most likely smile like friendly skiiers do.
When you get on the lift - wait til the chair lift is at its highest point- light the mannequin on fire and throw the mannequin off the lift. Watch it fall- Then high five your friend. Scream out bad jokes like "Was the lift too hot for ya?" or "Got a light buddy?" Turn around and give the people behind you- who are in shock- the thumbs up.

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Mar 8, 2007

Symphony of Disaster



You volunteer at a Special Education Camp and tell the camp you are going to take the kids to the zoo. What you really do is take them to the Detroit Symphony Orchestra. In the van on the way there you tell the kids there are prizes hidden in the instruments and when we get to the theatre- the quicker they find the prize the quicker we can all get to the zoo and eat ice cream! Tell the kids some of the prizes are hiden really good so you might have to tear apart the instruments to find them. Pre-order tickets to the symphony but come very late so when you walk in the unsuspected orchestra and crowd will be in for a treat they will never forget.

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Feb 21, 2007

Jerk Waiter


Go to an Italian restaurant, one that preferably caters to old people. Order spaghetti with meatballs. When the waiter brings you your food, tell him this is not what you ordered and get very angry. Start screaming about how you ordered a steak. Then pick up a huge handful of the spaghetti and push it into a random old ladies face make sure you get it all over her. Then scream at the waiter, "does this look a steak to you!?" Turn to the lady's husband and say, "man, this waiter is such a jerk" and then just walk out.

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Feb 13, 2007

NICE LIBRARIAN



Go to the library-
Wait until it's about to close, so it's you and the nice librarian left.
This is when you casually walk up to her
and tie her hands behind her back while she is still sitting.
Duct tape her to the chair so she can't get up.
Have her open up her mouth and shove a carrot in.
Write on a sheet of paper "THE LIBRARY IS EDUCATIONAL" and tape it to her shirt.

Then take 2 poloroids-
1 to leave for her
and
1 for yourself because this could be the greatest poloroid picture of all time!

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Feb 6, 2007

Cyclops Lawn Mowing Company


You buy a cheap lawn mower and go around a random neighborhood asking if anyone needs their grass cut.
When you find your first customer, convince him to watch you from his porch, telling him how proud you are of the work you do.
You begin to work and every now and then wave to your happy customer.
After about 10 minutes- you then turn your back to him so he cant see what you are doing and slip on a Cyclops mask.
Then turn back to him and wave- this will confuse the hell out of your customer-
This is when you run the lawnmower towards him and his house and launch it through a window

He will be so freaked out you will easily be able to casually get into your car and drive away
Make sure you have on your car a peel-away sticker that says "CYCLOPS LAWN MOWING CO."

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Feb 3, 2007

Graduation Day


Its that time of year when graduation ceremonies are taking place every weekend, so you decide its time to have some fun. You hire a team of acting midgets and tell them you need them for a Viking play. They will all need to dress up as ancient vikings, with swords and guns. You tell them the play is going to occur at the local amphitheatre, which will make sense to them when they see 100s of people sitting in the audience. You tell them all they need to do is storm the stage and act like drunken crazed vikings. You tell them the more chaos and havoc they cause the better. You also tell them this will be the end of the scene and how when the curtain falls will be the cue to stop "acting."

Also for added affect- you have one of your buddys throw a beehive from one of the back exits so when people try to flee they are greeted by a swarm of bees

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Jan 25, 2007

Grandmas Back!




Your friends grandma dies.

He is upset, so you decide to play
a good practical joke.

When he is gone you sneak into his house
and put a casket in his living room.
In the casket you put a mask of a
scary clown inside.
Under the mask
write a note that says "Grandmas Baccckkkk"

This will freak the fuck out of your friend.
When he tells you this story
get mad
and tell him if you find out who did this you will kill them

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Nov 6, 2006

Surprising a Bum



Call up as many midgets for hire as you can
telling them
you need them as extras in a movie-
Tell them the movie scene
requires them to all ride in the back of a van-
and explain to them how
when you open the van
you want them to all jump out-
Lock the van and dont open it for hours..
every now and then slam a bat to side of the van-

The midgets will be freaking out

The same day, find a bum.
dress him up as a director
and give him a bat and a camera.
Tell him there is a van you need him to open
and there is money and food in liquor in the van.
Give him the key.
Hide but also film this-
This would be great video footage

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Nov 4, 2006

Chuck E. Cheese Has Gone MAD!! RUN!!


You go to a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant one saturday afternoon and chloroform the guy who works as the mouse, and slip into his costume. You go out into the main dining room and act all friendly and goofy, playing with the kids, etc. When you got a huge group of kids around you point at one of the adults sitting at a table so all the kids look at him. Then pick up a chair, and launch it at the wall. Then charge the random adult and lunge at him, knocking him over his chair and just start to wail on him. Then even though Chuck E. Cheese is not supposed to talk, scream "Thats for having sex with her! You Jerk!" Run out. Everyone from the kids to the adults will be in such shock and this guys wife will be livid too.

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Nov 3, 2006

Marching Band Disaster




Thanksgiving is around the corner so you know they will be closing down the streets for the annual parade. The beauty of these parades is that there are multiple police officers riding horses patrolling the streets. What you should do is wait til a large marching band is is doing their routine, sneak up behind a horse and give it the branding of its life. If you can have multiple friends all brand horses at the same time it would be even better. Hopefully the horses will be behind the band so when it freaks out it will charge towards the band. Most members would be knocked down but the ones in front would be running for their lives. Imagine the fat tuba players sprinting and people screaming..

Good morning


You live next door to an elderly couple. Every morning at 8am the husband usually dressed in a suit and tie goes to work. You decide you are gona play a joke on him so you get there early and hook up his hose to one of those pressure squirters. Wearing your old Yoda mask from halloween as soon as he closes the door of his house, douse him in water but make sure you get his face really hard and all of his clothes. Then just take off. A month later do it again. Then just in case he gets suspicious, do it 2 months after that. Then maybe even wait 6 months and do it again. This guy will never understand why someone dressed up as Yoda is bombarding him in the morning with hard cold water in his face.

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Nov 2, 2006

HELP THE DIABETIC!


you see an old lady at the mall in a wheel chair
walk up to her and ask her if she needs assistance
then get behind her and start wheeling her as fast you can... run thru the mall
screaming "get out of the way she is a diabetic" approach some dumb looking guy
and hand her off and scream "GO GO.. im tired and she needs to get to her car..
dont listen to her .. she is delusional.. run man run!!!!" hopefully this guy
will take off wheeling her in the mall fast too.. and if a family member reports
her missing.. they will bust this guy instead

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Ayyy! Ayyy! Why do man who love chinese food bring anger? Ayy


There is a small cute chinese restaurant right around the corner from you. The owners are very nice, however like most immigrants their english is broken and hard to understand. You walk up there wearing some type of chinese cartoon mask and dressed in a chinese robe. You wave at the chinese lady who owns it, and then throw a rock, which you had written the words "I LOVE ALMOND BONELESS CHICKEN" through the window. Run and ditch the costume, come back just to hear how they would explain the terror to the police. Should be pretty funny.

Oct 29, 2006

Nice Horsey




You decide its time for the hospital to have some fun. You release 5 large broncos into the hospital, but make sure it is at 4 different exits of the hospital.
Hopefully, one horse will make its way to the ICU
and smash into repsirators; and just cause people to run for their lives.
Now this would be hysterical, like for example, you to turn the corner and you see old people and young running for their lives and down the hall you see a giant horse galloping.
Also to piss the horses off, brand them as you release them into the hospital.

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Oct 26, 2006

This was the 1st VOD ever written- an oldie but this is where it all began- titled simply, "WHITE PUBES?"


You drive by a
typical hitch-hiker dude,
hippie looking, long hair,
bandana..

What you should do to him is pick up..
then chloroform his face so he is knocked out
Tie him up and throw him in the trunk
Then an hour later open up the trunk and beat him bad with a baseball
bat and cut off one of his thumbs..
then hire someone to clean him up-
cut his hair, shave him and bleach his pubic hair bright white, and buy him a new suit
Dress him up and drop him off in the same spot you picked him up at
The confusion of this mother fucker would be worth laughs for years-
he would never figure out what happened to him and the fact that his pubes are now bright white would just thrown an extra bizarre twist

HEY! Who let you in here? NURSE, SOMEBODY- HELP ME!?



Go to JARC house (jewish association for retarded citizens) and tell manager you are here to take them on a field trip..fill up a bus and bring them to the hospital..
tell them there is a million dollars in someones room..
and whoever finds it gets to keep it..
tell them to search everywhere -
and tell them a hint is to look under peoples pillows and beds..
walk them to the door and scream GO! -
maybe even follow one just to get a good laugh

Midgets ravage hospital. Claim they were duped- news at 11


you one again hire 10-20 midgets and tell them you are filming a movie
You explain the premise which centers around
one of their friends is in the hospital sick
and you have to get to your friend before the crazy doctor kills him-
you tell them the scene will be taking place at a local hospital and you drive them there--
you tell them the 1st scene will be them sprinting through the hospital knocking people over
in attempt to find their buddy--
you reassure them- that everyone in the hospital is an actor
so that even when security chases them to keep running and knockin people over--
especially old sick people, who you say are young actors with makeup on -
you tell them that is good for the comedy aspect of the movie-
the look on peoples faces when 20 midgets are barreling over people and running thru the halls would be priceless

Oct 25, 2006

Computer Virus


You find an add that is titled Computer Doctor.
You call up the Computer Doctor,
who specializes in repairing hardrives
and tell him you downloaded a virus and need help.

Before he gets there, you set up a really old computer
but dont even plug it in.

For added effect, you puke all over the keyboard.

When he comes to your place,
show him the computer and say,
"this lil guy has not been feeling well for quite
awhile."

When he asks if this is a joke,
ask him, "do you think this is a joke?" and slam a
potatoe sack over his head.
Then, tie a rope around it so his arms are locked down,
then roll him down a flight of stairs.

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Chinese Nightmares


You hire a good friend of yours (boy or girl does not matter) to dress up with basically just a clown mask on
and only stilletos; hand them a gun.
You get a motel room and
order a huge order of chinese food for delivery.

When the delivery gets there
have them answer the door, pointing the gun
at the delivery man.
When the chinese guy freaks out, have them say, "Today is a good day to die."
Then instruct them to shoot at his knee.
You will have to run because the cops are coming,
but you will give this guy awesome nightmares forever

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Good Joke Need Lots of Midgets


Using the phone book, look under midgets for hire.
Call up every single midget for hire company in the area
and have them all meet at an old ladies house.
Arrange it so all the midgets somehow come at once-
tell some of them to dress up in scary halloween costumes
and that it is for a kids birthday party.
Hordes of midgets will basically swarm
this poor old lady's house causing her to go into a complete panic.

Someone tell the old guy that is not acceptable

You go to a fancy restaurant bringing in a brief case filled with a mixture of
lettuce, ground beef, jello.

You go to the bathroom and
wait til an old guy has to use the stall.

As he goes in -
stand up in the stall next to him
and dump your brief case over his head.

Walk out holding your nose,
turn to a waitress and say
"Jesus lady someone did something nasty in there..i think the old guy has diarrhea"

Wait til he gets out- for everyones reaction- including his

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Why Gfilte Fish? WHY!?


Call up the cable guy to the apartment next door
(that way you wont get in trouble)-
As you see him walking down the hallway
ask him if he would not mind helping you out for a second.
As he walks in chloroform him so he his knocked out.
Dress him up in a winnie the pooh costume-
but before you put the mask on-
duck tape his mouth shut-
then glue on the mask
so it will take a lot of work to get off-
and the movements he will make trying to get it off
will just look like Winnie the pooh is all confused
This will also muffle his screams as well.
Yank him down to to the bus station
and buy him a ticket to Oklahoma City-
Had him a bag - with these items inside

a jar of gfilte fish
a sock and
a note that reads
"Bad cable man - HBO came in fuzzy for last time"

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Wedding Romp



There is a very extravagant wedding planned-
You decide to play a joke and walk up 2 horses to the entrance
The security stops you
but you explain how the bride and groom
want to ride out into the sunset and its all been planned out
You then unleash the horses into the ceremony kicking them hard and branding them so they gallop and romp all over the place-
Destroying the wedding and sending people into pure terror

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